The benefits of lullaby voice
Music is the best possible tool you can use for felt safety. And lullaby voice is absolutely first on my list of ways to action this. Lullaby voice should not just have to be reserved for our babies and children. Lullaby voice is available for us, to speak to us. An intimate, gentle, soothing voice - it’s exactly what our nervous system wants of us!
What is a lullaby voice?
Our voices have the power to create a sense of safety in our children, using a strategy called ‘Parantese’. Parentese is that voice we use when we speak to new babies (and cute animals) and is characterised by:
A slightly higher pitch
A whispery voice (lullaby voice, not rockstar voice)
Minimal words but much repetition
Exaggerated and connected facial expressions
Sustained length of words
A slow pace
Melodic inflections
Parentese tells our children’s brain that they are safe. And speaking with it will have the same impact on us!
What are the benefits of lullaby voice?
Science has shown us that Parentese (or in my own musical words: lullaby voice) helps our children experience a feeling of safety and connection to their caregiver. It makes sense then that becoming aware of how we use our voice, and implementing moments of Parentese in the way we speak to our children, offers consistent opportunities for their brain to respond with a sense of safety, in response to our voice.
Of course, this strategy needs to be used within context of your own manner, and how your children respond. For example, if you were to use lullaby voice with your teenager all day long, they would soon have enough!
Moments of lullaby voice throughout the day, when your child is upset, unsettled, anxious or emotionally overwhelmed are helpful. To use your voice in this way consciously, even when your child is content, is a great way of maintaining a sense of felt safety.
As well as using your speaking voice strategically, the act of actually singing to your child in lullaby voice is always beneficial, for both them and you!
