The Quandary of the Safe Space

When I hear someone say “this is a safe space”, I don’t believe them as my default response.

SAFE SPACE has become synonymous with group work in the era of wellness and healing and personal transformation. “This is a safe space”.

A phrase that declares safety, rather than creates safety.

A phrase that denounces the requirement for relational safety, ignores the reality of how nervous systems function, overlooks the innumerable number of variables present in any group situation, gives the facilitator a false sense of responsible leadership and sets up group members to ignore interoceptive cues that are needed to actually keep them safe.

‘Felt safety’ is what we’re attempting to remind group participants of whenever we declare a safe space.

I mean, for the most part groups sessions are *literally* safe. We don’t say “this is a safe space” so that participants won’t fear a rogue dog bursting into the room and biting off their leg, or a roof fan flying off the roof and chopping someone in half or a car screeching through the wall and wiping out the entire room.

We say “this is a safe space” so that people feel able to share openly, trust that the process will be healthy and helpful, that they can engage actively in the process without concerns and that the facilitator has #GotYou™.

What we won’t focus on in this article – although is enragingly and prolifically true – is that many facilitators using the words “safe space” are in fact grooming, gaslighting, influencing, hurting under the guise of healing, recruiting, culting, patronising and worse. Much worse.

What we will focus on in this article are some of the ways we can actually create a space that feels as safe as possible, which is the best we can do when it comes to the magical unicorn that is safety-in-a-group-setting.

to be continued…